A Clean Wipe

The Florida legislature wants to mandate that restaurant patrons have enough toilet paper when they use state-inspected bathrooms.  Don’t restaurant inspectors have enough on their plates just verifying that eateries are maintaining the minimum level of rat infestation and E. coli without having to count and squeeze the Charmin? Now, we can understand the need for restaurant inspections, since sausage-making is something that many chefs prefer to do away from the prying eyes of patrons, but can’t patrons be left to their own judgment about how well a dining establishment maintains its loos? Or at least come prepared with their own stash of papel higénico?

Los Estados Unidos is on the slippery slope to installing washroom attendants who dole out the Petalo in two-square rations for two bits. On the other hand, it could provide some employment opportunities.

We Mexicans know enough to always go armed with tissues.

Oh, I get it now. Florida’s real motive is keeping the Larry Craigs from having to ask the person in the next stall for paper.

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