Eyes Open Even Wider

Remember back in kindergarten when you were taught basic rules of safety? Don’t take candy from strangers, and don’t get in a car with that nice man.

Sometimes I wonder if expats checked those rules at the border.

Don’t take food from strangers. That free sample at Costco is one thing, particularly if you’re among those of us who’re known to cruise the aisles for lunch. And so are those slices of pineapple and jicama offered by vendors at intersections. The stranger offering you a sip of something on the bus is another matter. Just don’t do it, not for thirst and not to be polite.

Forget answering your door after dark, if you’re not expecting visitors. Friends who drop by unexpectedly can call you on their cellphones, right from the street.  Domino’s is not going to deliver a pizza unless you ordered one thirty minutes ago, and the Jehovah’s Witnesses almost never come around after dark. The city is not sending a fumigator around at 7 p.m.  And the kid who wants to look for that ball that fell into your yard can just wait until you’re good and ready to toss it over the wall.

Don’t invite strangers in, not even for a minute. Sure, it sounds easy and hospitable to let that guy with a clipboard step in to your patio while you retrieve something from the house. Just don’t do it. Are you listening? There’s nothing rude about shutting the gate securely, making that person wait in the street. That’s how it’s done in Mexico. And that’s how polite people do it. You’re not going to be hurting anyone’s feelings. Get used to it.

Don’t leave garage door open.  Not even for a minute. And the same goes for your house or apartment.  Throw that deadbolt when you enter. What may have been perfectly safe back in Oklahoma isn’t the same here.

When you’re in your car, keep the doors locked at all times. Put your purse on the floor, not on the passenger seat, particularly when the windows may be open.  Don’t leave mail with your address within plain view. At an intersection, if someone taps on your window, don’t respond.

Take taxis. It doesn’t matter if you’re only 2 blocks from your destination. If the street is empty, or if something just doesn’t look right, spring for the cab. Cab fare is always cheaper than loss. You’re not lame for doing this.

How many times have you seen someone dawdle and fumble while looking inside a purse or wallet for their money on the street? They’re opening a window of opportunity for greedy mitts to reach in and help themselves.

Strangers’ stories are interesting. Read them at your leisure, but don’t waste your time and create a window of opportunity by listening to the saga of woe du jour from someone on the street who wants to tell you how she’s pregnant by her husband who took off for Tijuana a year and a half ago and now needs a prescription for birth control. Slings can fool you. What these people need is far beyond your pay grade in the first place. Do them a favor, and tell them to go to DIF, the Red Cross, or even the local church.

And those ladies going door to door, collecting for the church posada? Unless you personally know them, don’t give. Ask them for the name of the contact person at the parish church, and tell them that you’ll make your donation there.

“Did you hear about your neighbor who was in an awful car accident and died?”  The man at your gate points over to the house down the street, and you ask if it was Sara. Yes, he tells you, it was Sara, since you just provided her name to him. He goes on to explain how her family needs money for her funeral, so you dig into your purse. The problem is that Sara wasn’t in a car accident, she didn’t die, and her family doesn’t need money to bury her. You just gave that nice young man money some spending money.

“But he was such friendly guy, helping my carry groceries in and even the garrafón.”  Of course, the fellow had every reason in the world to be friendly: to establish trust, gain access to your house, and to establish that you were a team.  That charmer just put you into his debt.

Would you let a stranger hold your billfold for a few minutes? Don’t let others use your cell phone. The obvious is that they could easily walk away with it, which not only means that you could lose the cell phone, but more importantly, your directory of phone numbers and potentially your cell phone time.

Watch your friends. Friends who are saps can taint you by association. You’re hanging out with Herman, who is known for telling beggars “I don’t have any money, my wife has all the money.” And then he points to you, and you’re not even his girlfriend. The ladron will assume that you’re just as dumb as Herman and approach you.  Friends don’t make other friends victims.

“Oh, but these people have so little, and I have so much.” Keep that up, and the tables will be turned real soon.

“I wouldn’t want these people to think I’m prejudiced.” Not to worry, they’ll just think you’re dumb.

“Oh, I can’t be absolutely sure he stole it. I’d hate to accuse an innocent man” How many times have you heard that before?  “I’d really hate for him to think that I don’t trust him.”

Act like prey, and you’ll be treated like prey.  Even if you don’t know the terrain, act like you do.

And we’ll have even more in the next installment.


16 comments on “Eyes Open Even Wider

  1. Tancho says:

    I guess you won’t be signing for the Publishers Clearing House million dollar check anytime soon……


  2. Ed McMahon can’t hold a candle to the nice Crown Prince of Nigera who’s giving me $18M.


  3. mexicomystic says:

    NOW Wait one Moment !!! He promised me the 1.8 million…. He said all he needed (because he couldnt cash the lottery check due to the fact that his government was corrupt), was my bank account number and a small donation to prove my honesty. … You’ll be telling me Santa isn’t real next !!


  4. Kim G says:

    This reminds me of my last trip into DF from the airport. I was chatting with the driver, and he offered me a cough drop. I thought twice, but I was pretty sure he had just eaten the one before, so I took it. Once it was in my mouth, I thought about spitting it out, but it tasted normal, and if it was somehow drugged, it’d have to be a pretty powerful drug to overcome me before we got to my hotel. But it all turned out fine, and it was just a normal cough drop.

    But I don’t think I’d accept such a thing again.

    As for your article, it makes SMA sound much more dangerous than DF. And maybe it is. In DF, it’s easier for people to find good jobs, and there aren’t so many gringos in a concentrated area that rateros are specifically seeking them out. Indeed, I’ve had a remarkably trouble-free existence in DF.


    Kim G
    Boston, MA
    Where, despite high levels of safety, we’re pretty cautious anyway.


  5. A lack of good jobs and poverty don’t turn people to a life of crime. Crime is a good job for those who practice it. And practiced well, it can pay off more than honest labor, even more than everyone put together who reads this blog earns.


    • Kim G says:

      Well, indeed. That diamond heist in Brussels in February was just one such example. Those crooks walked away with a cool 50 million Euros worth of diamonds. Fortunately for the rest of us, most crooks seem to be pretty stupid. At least if what you see in the local news is any guide.


  6. Don Cuevas says:

    And for cryin’ out loud, don’t be dumbass careless like carrying your passport, your INM card, cash, CCs and other valuables in your friggin’ wallet! You can lose it all in one quick moment.

    Examples, even one today, on a SimpleList Yahoo Group. Even otherwise intelligent people have been known to be careless. How does that happen?

    Don Cuevas


  7. Steve Cotton says:

    Your list reminded me of a post I wrote over four years ago. Here on the coast, we seem to be cursed with children i parking lots wiling to push your cart to the car and then share in your purchases and wallet when you are not looking. http://steveinmexico.blogspot.mx/2009/07/hands-helping-themselves.html


  8. Charm will win over a victim every time. If the schools where you live run matutino and vesperino sessions, Half the kids are going to be out on the streets during regular school hours anyway.


  9. sparks says:

    For the next list …..

    Collecting for the local AAA with a coffee can
    Paint your curb for $$ with paint that will wash away in first rain
    The slow learning process of learning which of your neighbors you can loan money to


  10. How about a listserve which requires subscribers to scan and send their ID to the list moderator as prerequisite to joining a community listserve?


  11. laurie says:

    I don’t know if the custom of borrowing is popular in Mexico. In Honduras, everyone asks to borrow things. They really mean that the item or the money belongs to them unless you forcefully go get your stuff. Money borrowed is never returned. Prestame? Yeah, right.


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